Self-directed anger
The stars didn't fall today; Friday, November 9
Geram. Geram sangat dengan diri. I woke up early today, or I thought I did. I woke up at 8 a.m.; 2 hours before my 10 a.m. lecture. Except that the 10 a.m. lecture wasn't the first lecture of the day. I totally forgot about my 8 a.m. Korean lecture. Tak tau kenapa. The day before, I was actually conscious of the fact that I have a Korean lecture today. But somehow, I wasn't conscious that it was an 8 a.m. lecture. So I set my alarm to wake up at 8.
When I woke up, I felt something welling up inside me. After a few blinks and deep breaths, -bam!- "Korean lecture at 8, Maryam! And you just woke up!" I marveled at myself at first. Wondered how I could have been so incredibly stupid. For God's sake, it's the 12th week since school started. The routine should have set in but nopesies, says my brain. Grr. As the day went on until right now, I'm just seething at myself, calling myself 50 kinds of stupid in my head. Tak tau kenapa boleh selenge sangat. Kalau overslept tu, memang boleh dimaafkan lagi. Tapi kalau memang dah kunci jam pukul 8 the day before and tak conscious ada kelas at 8, apo cito? Sigh.
I hate bad starts to a day. It ruins the whole day, somehow.
When I woke up, I felt something welling up inside me. After a few blinks and deep breaths, -bam!- "Korean lecture at 8, Maryam! And you just woke up!" I marveled at myself at first. Wondered how I could have been so incredibly stupid. For God's sake, it's the 12th week since school started. The routine should have set in but nopesies, says my brain. Grr. As the day went on until right now, I'm just seething at myself, calling myself 50 kinds of stupid in my head. Tak tau kenapa boleh selenge sangat. Kalau overslept tu, memang boleh dimaafkan lagi. Tapi kalau memang dah kunci jam pukul 8 the day before and tak conscious ada kelas at 8, apo cito? Sigh.
I hate bad starts to a day. It ruins the whole day, somehow.