Picking pieces up.
The stars didn't fall today; Wednesday, November 18
Yesterday I got around to cooking after the longest while. I hadn't been cooking at all since school started and even before that so I would guess it's been close to three months since I made a real dish or even fried fish. The top of the blender was even a little dusty for having been left untouched for so long. Having made a quick trip to the supermarket the other day, I had the basics like chilli and onions at hand so I was able to whip up something simple. Since my late mum (well, this needs some getting use to.. I haven't even gotten around to addressing her as 'arwah' whenever I talk about her) got hospitalised about around the same time I last cooked, the ingredients and stuff in the fridge have been left untouched so a lot of things went bad and had to be thrown out. My aunts also gave us a lot of dishes to eat with rice but I haven't been cooking rice either since no one ate at home. If we weren't at school or work, we would be at the hospital so I didn't cook at all.
Anyway, yeah.. I'm not the best cook around and I'm pretty sure I've mentioned how much I hated cooking but thank God, Mum made me cook from a pretty young age so I've got my basics down. I just need a recipe and I have enough confidence not to butcher it. We can pretty much go on buying our food but I think I need to do at least this much for my dad. I'm just hoping to not have any morning classes for the upcoming semester so I can prepare food before I go off to school.
So yesterday, I opened my recipe book for my first time in a long while and my heart skipped a beat when I saw my mum's scribbling on some of the recipes. I have been thinking about going through my mum's recipe books so I can add to my repertoire but I don't think I'll be doing that anytime soon.
Ahhhhh.. It's still gonna take some time. I just don't know how much. I met some close friends last Friday and Sunday and it was all good but I felt really empty when I laughed. To the friends who have been concerned about me, thank you. I don't know why all of you are always making sure that I eat but yes, I am eating well. If only eating would fill up the gap inside of me as well. I feel like there's a part of me that's just distant from reality. Somewhat making me feel like I'm in the now and also not at the same time..
Anyway, yeah.. I'm not the best cook around and I'm pretty sure I've mentioned how much I hated cooking but thank God, Mum made me cook from a pretty young age so I've got my basics down. I just need a recipe and I have enough confidence not to butcher it. We can pretty much go on buying our food but I think I need to do at least this much for my dad. I'm just hoping to not have any morning classes for the upcoming semester so I can prepare food before I go off to school.
So yesterday, I opened my recipe book for my first time in a long while and my heart skipped a beat when I saw my mum's scribbling on some of the recipes. I have been thinking about going through my mum's recipe books so I can add to my repertoire but I don't think I'll be doing that anytime soon.
Ahhhhh.. It's still gonna take some time. I just don't know how much. I met some close friends last Friday and Sunday and it was all good but I felt really empty when I laughed. To the friends who have been concerned about me, thank you. I don't know why all of you are always making sure that I eat but yes, I am eating well. If only eating would fill up the gap inside of me as well. I feel like there's a part of me that's just distant from reality. Somewhat making me feel like I'm in the now and also not at the same time..